Love takes practice. Love is an action verb that is skill based; our capacity to love is the source of our genius, the inspiration for our creativity, and the essence of what roots us to the earth. Seeing our relationships in terms of a practice of love drills is a helpful approach that can keep your heart open and willing to try again, even after the inevitable hurts that define human relating. Rilke said that “the ultimate, the last test and proof of our humanity, the work for which all other work is but preparation, is for one human being to love another.” So in preparation for Valentine’s Day, commit to the truth that you were born to love and know that you have the capacity to love more skillfully, more courageously and with more tenacity than you ever imagined.  


Photo via daniel conway

Drill 1 “To be loved, be loveable.”  Ovid

The first skill in loving is to believe in your love-ability and then act in accordance. Kindness, generosity and all that is good in us comes from this place of feeling loveable. Sometimes just by adopting loveable behaviors, we increase our own perception of our own love-ability. Getting to our own love-ability can be a challenge for those of us who are filled with weighty old tapes that we are not worthy of our own love. Most of us have known a time when these kinds of messages hung over our heart like an axe poised to fall.  Turning away from these old messages in ourselves is a contagious practice which benefits wider and wider circles of people. Like any practice, the more you look for what is good, the better you get at seeing it. Identifying the positive repetitively normalizes it. 

Drill 2 “The greatest science in the world; in heaven and on earth; is love.”
                                                             Mother Theresa

Approach the loving relationships in your life as a cherished science experiment. Think of the universal requirements for success in any loving relationship and objectively evaluate how these are reflected in your own relationships. Is there enough communication shared to feel heard and hear your partner’s feelings? Are you having mostly positive thoughts about the intimacy and process in your relationship?  Do you show up for the important, sad and celebratory moments of each other’s lives? These questions are most effective as guide posts.  If you know where you want your relationship to go, then answering these questions with intention and action in each hour of our days is the active science of loving. It is a work in progress.

Drill 3 “Can there be a love which does not make demands on its object?”
                                                         Confucius

People die over broken hearts every day.  Last week a beautiful young local girl killed herself over it. Suicide is not the only way that we die from a broken heart.  There are many more slow, silent deaths around us as we refuse to love anyone again in a committed way for fear that we will be hurt. Someday there will be some scientific test that can measure the scar tissue in the heart.  Just like every other muscle in our body, tears in our muscles repair, but not always in an orderly way. This explains why many of us live with a variety of body aches that transform over time, but never really go away. Living in our body demands that we work with our tightness and re-build our strength. Dealing with the pain of broken heartedness, which is pretty much guaranteed in loving humans, is no different. Really feeling the sadness and loneliness of where love doesn’t work can also live in us as deep appreciation for the people we practice loving. 

Drill 4 ”The day will come when, after harnessing the winds, the tides and gravitation, we shall harness for God the energies of Love. And on that day, for the second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.”            Teilhard de Chardin

Here is a prophecy that feels optimistic. With our new mandate from the government on renewable energy sources, we may soon be charging our lives on the power of wind, sun and water. So maybe the time has come where we will harness the energy of love for what it is, our access to a fire that can warm us from the inside. Commit to building an ecology of love in your relationship that nurtures the fire of sustainable love. Choose the thoughts that ground you to your love.   Communicate and self disclose what is most difficult to say and feed the fire with the truth of who you are. Show up in the small details as well as the important celebrations of living with someone, so that there is always a flow of time and energy between you. Bask in the rare, mysterious alchemy of making love to someone who loves all of you. This is a fire that can and does change the world.     

Learn more about Wendy at http://www.goodcleanlove.com/

Eco Chic Weekly is a digest compiled by Fashion, Evolved that features the best of the best in green fashion and beauty blogging. 

If you would like to have your post featured in ECW please send a link to the_q (at) inbox.com.

Ecco*Eco has a collection of inspiring friends and finery to get you through the remainder of Summer 2009.

Eco Fashion World scoops on some fabulous eco fashion sales!

Eco-Chick has some very exciting news about the CFDA/Vogue Awards this year.

Eco Diva has a  fun giveaway that will keep you cool this summer!

Ethical Style has compiled a list of sexy summer dresses that just happen to be on sale.

Feelgood Style is featuring the Necklush scarf/cowl/necklace...and I'm not really sure how I feel about it.

Green Lashes and Fashion has a wonderful post about the virtues of the maxi dress.

It's never too early to start thinking about Fall!  Heart of Green has  discovered Ya Living scarves.

How Much Do Women Really Know About Our Energy Crisis?  Check out the survey results on The Green Girls.

Check out the spectacular collection of Eco Handbags from AmazonLife featured on Treehugger.

How do you meet the customer of your dreams?

How do you best serve your ideal client?

How do you "sort" the right people for your business from the wrong people for your business?

Luckily for all of us who are interested in green living, green business development, and in true respect and care for the planet, it is easy to find the "right" people based on the kind of language they use and their stated social and environmental responsibility report. Here are some pointers I've found along my own journey:

SAY YES to ONLY THE RIGHT PROJECTS

When I was first starting out in web design, my partner and I were anxious to do as much business as possible, and so we ended up saying yes to all kinds of projects --- we quickly found out that this led to three kinds of trouble as we struggled to differentiate ourselves and our process:

1) We had difficulty in discerning the projects on which we wanted to work.

2) We were anxious because many of the people who found us were anxious themselves and it became a feedback loop of anxiety!!!

3) When we were unclear, unfocused, and provided too much of a broad approach, it led our customers to ask for unclear, unfocused, and very broad requests.

Saying YES to only the right projects does mean saying no to what might look like profitable work. Create a niche and dominate it by saying yes to only the projects, distributors, customers, partners, or affiliates that match what you want to achive.

NARROW YOUR FOCUS

Narrow your target market and narrow the type of work you do. For example, in my case:

• Instead of creating static HTML based websites, now we focus on content management systems.
• Instead of doing "any kind" of website, now we create highly functional websites that support organizational growth.
• Instead of working with "anyone", we now work with green businesses, progressive organizations, and minority women entrepreneurs.
• Instead of working on "any project", we work with partners who intend to grow their business and who benefit from our expertise.

We're happier because of the changes we've made, and we now have a better sense of when we are a good fit for a project or when the customer would be better served with a referral to one of our partners.

BE EFFICIENT

As you develop experience and a set of methods and business processes, you'll help everyone involved with your business. Think of your management and staff, your teammates, partners, and customers -- how does your process "fit" everyone's feedback and desired results? As you create your own process and procedures, you'll understand how you best function.

Use "green" guidelines to help you make decisions on where to get supplies or how to distribute and market. When you set policies, you give all the people working on the project a clear "road map" to milestones along the way to your shared success.

SPECIFY, SPECIFY, SPECIFY

Know how to describe your green business in 7 seconds or less. Be specific. As you specify more and more what it is that you value and who you support, it is easier and easier to find the people who share your values and who want to support you. You'll find yourself gravitating towards your "true community" of customers, clients, partners and friends.

ENVISION THE FUTURE-- and CREATE IT

Consider what your successful business (or life) looks like to you. I encourage you to map it out in as much detail as possible, writing it on a piece of paper, or using vision boarding to copy and paste images that match your ideal.

Then, bring your current situation closer and closer to that ideal by saying YES only to the people and projects that match your vision. What will happen is the ideal starts coming closer and closer to you, and you do more and more of the work you love. As your green business thrives and supports others who share your values, our entire community, society, and planet benefits.

SHARE YOUR VOICE

We all need your unique voice-- we need you to share how you believe in your actions and how your green business is a part of the solution. Please share your unique vision of what it is you want to accomplish with your life --- and let us all work together to make it a reality.

List your green business for free in the national directory at www.greenbusinesswomen.com.  Follow me on Twitter at @monicadear and let me know about your green business!


Monica S. Flores  of  is committed to educating, empowering, and connecting women in business -- she believes in the triple bottom line of people, planet, and profits. She is available for consulting on web development, green business practices, and women in business.

Want to help? Your purchase of these resources allows me to continue bringing you information, resources, and support for green business women.

	Social Networking for Women in Business, 136 pages of tips on managing your social media.   Available as an e-download or as a trade paperback from Amazon.   Click to purchase the e-version for $7.99 (use code: greengirls1).
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Thank you for your support.

 

Ok, before anyone gets their panties in a bunch…let me preface that this was a limited study of only women and that there’s a strong likelihood gender has nothing to do with the results.  (In other words, men would probably have provided similar outcomes.) Seriously, though.  Do these results sound familiar?  I don’t know about you, but I sometimes feel like I practically need an engineering degree to understand all that energy jargon. 

How about you?  Do you feel 100% confident in the causes and solutions for our current energy and resource crisis?    Here’s why I ask….A survey gauging the level of energy knowledge among 801 women over the age of 18 was conducted by two women’s groups. Here are some highlights of the results: 

• Only 7% of women are aware that electricity-generating power plants are the biggest cause of global warming in the country
• 31% say they just don’t know the largest cause of global warming
• When prompted, 67% of women correctly identify coal power plants as a big cause or somewhat of a cause of global warming, but 54% think the same about nuclear energy; in reality, nuclear energy does not cause global warming at all. 
• 43% don’t know the largest source of electricity in the U.S.
• 32% don’t know the main source of electricity for their own home 

Well, I want to be educated about this stuff and I bet you do too.  I will not let big words stand in my way…but it can be a bit intimidating at times.  SO…I thought we’d tackle this one together.  Tell me what’s on your mind.  Are there any energy terms or processes that don’t make sense to you?  Any varying "expert" opinions that seem to contradict each other?  If you’ll speak up, I’ll pull together the answers and we’ll all benefit!

About the Author Katherine DalPra is an eco-enthusiast and owner of Green Diva Jewelry, a socially responsible  jewelry boutique that incorporates recycled metals, sustainable elements and Fair Trade gems.  She is an active voice in the industry opposing irresponsible mining. 

Trackback: http://www.mnn.com/earth-matters/energy/stories/survey-women-fail-on-energy-knowlege

It's a common saying ...not really sure why although I feel like at one point in my life, I did know why.  Well it just so happens to be July and I just so happened to take notice of our live Christmas / holiday trees growing on the side of the house.


Photo via dgreenberg 99

Ken and I thought it would be a good idea, instead of buying a real "dead" (ok cut)  tree every year, to just buy live trees we could plant later.  We have done that now the last two years.  It was last year when I realized we would soon have a row of trees that don't even match our landscape if we continued on with this tradition.  The funny thing is that they are symbol of a holiday we celebrate but don't really "buy into". Funny, the things we do.  I guess we thought we would be more "eco" if we had trees we could reuse year to year.  Our walls are windows so we figured we would get decorations that could survive the elements.  What I noticed today however, was the tree from our first year has now reached the same height as our tree from this past year.

That might make sense but this guy was a little tiny thing when we got him.  I remember Ken's mother saying something along the lines of "I think this is a redwood" when his parents came over sometime over the holiday-ness of this last December.  Today is the day I finally believe her.  I was a little concerned about it when she said it initially but now ... now I just feel silly.  I can't believe we did not check out what kind of tree this is / would turn into.

The tree next to it is not much better, it's a Blue Spruce which seems to grow wild in Aspen, but not necessarily in the San Fernando Valley.  Our original intentions were very cute and innocent but now I wonder what we have gotten ourselves into.  I personally look at our grass we still have in the backyard (which actually isn't much) and I want to let it die.  Why do we need it?  I feel, especially since we are in a drought, that grass is a waste of water.  So then, back to our holiday trees ... what are we doing?  I don't want to be a tree killer so I will let them stay for now -I need to think down the road 20 years about what our consequences will be; 20 years minimum.

The green movement to me is many things.  It's about conservation, efficiency, harmony, and peace.  Holiday trees do nothing for conserving water ... it seems if we plant them live or if we cut them down, the tradition is not overly efficient.  I see no harmony in what we are doing with our natural environment here and therefore it's not necessarily peaceful.  So what I started thinking about is this ... why do we even have Christmas trees?  Maybe a permanent Christmas cactus would be much more fitting.  Why not look at this model we are perpetuating and see if we can do better?  I would say that we do Christmas or Holiday trees that look like they come from back East because many of us have lines that go back East whether that means to New England or Europe.  What originated there as tradition maybe should be modified to fit our current environment.    So I think this year, we will keep our two holiday trees, but I am going to look at the trees we already had and see if we cannot make one of those our holiday trees.  Why not make another tree glam?  Why do pines have to be the face of Christmas beauty?  Just questions for you to consider this next holiday season :)

Learn more about Janine at Green Wave Enterprises.